The Babylon V
Ditch the pharmaceuticals and let laughter be your medicine.
I've always found that there can be a lot of truth in humor. Some of the greatest stand-up comedians are great simply because they are able to percieve what seem to be hidden truths in what are often considered controversial topics. The top-notch comedians are able to present these simple truths back to the audience in hilarious fashion, challenging us to think about certain situations differently by highlighting contradictions and absurdities that often go undiscussed amongst friends and family. Sometimes these revelations may be uncomfortable, but we laugh because, deep down, we know that they ring true and authentic.
A favorite form of comedy which I tend to find much truth in is satire. For those who may be unfamiliar with this form of comedy, according to Merriam Webster, satire is a literary work that holds up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn. It utilizes irony, wit, and sarcasm in order to expose the absurdity in certain situations in a clever manner while attempting to instigate social reform. This form of literary work can expose the flaws in logic that may not be clear to those who have yet to look at a situation critically and logically. It spotlights the unspoken truths that we all know about and understand, but we may be afraid to discuss out loud. Satire often uses humor in order to present a lighthearted take on what are usually rather serious situations.
Currently, one of the best sources of satire available is a publication called The Babylon Bee. This is a site that is designed to look and appear as if it were a legitimate news organization, using this set-up as a way to cleverly mock the mainstream media and point out the absurdities of current events. The site was founded in March of 2016 by a man named Adam Ford, and it is billed as a Christian Conservative version of The Onion. The intent of the site is to make people laugh and think, and according to Ford, most of the articles “serve to hold up the truth and let it do the work.” Or as the Washington Post put it, at the Babylon Bee, “the news is always fake but the stories are often true.”
For an idea of how the satire produced by The Babylon Bee works, I want to provide a few current examples on the “virus” issue. The first is from August 23rd, 2023, and it points out the coincidental timing of the new “variant” popping up along with the upcoming election. It explains just how this “threat” could favor mail-in voting and election fraud:
CDC Announces Deadly New 'Electionyearicron' Covid Variant
ATLANTA, GA — The Center for Disease Control warned Americans this week to resume all contact precautions due to a new and rapidly-spreading "Electionyearicron" Covid variant.
CDC director Bob Cohen spoke with reporters Wednesday to announce the new variant. "'Electionyearicron' is thought to be the most disruptive variant yet, and will be here all through 2024 until approximately November sixth," said Mr. Cohen. "So everyone, stay home and get ready to vote by mail!"
The White House hosted an immediate press conference to address the dangerous new variant. "We're thrilled - I mean, um, alarmed - to hear of this deadly new 'Electionyearicron' variant," said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "The President says we'll probably just go ahead and cancel the general elections next year as a precaution. It's the only way to really flatten the curve. You don't want to kill grandma, do you?"
The CDC has released guidelines once again encouraging social distancing and the wearing of masks. "It's the best way to love your neighbor," said Mr. Cohen. "The government will let you know just as soon as it's safe to end quarantine, which we project to be immediately after the next election is over. Just to give Americans an extra sense of assurance, we are calling Dr. Fauci back out of retirement so everyone knows they can trust our word. Stay home, stay safe!"
As of press time, millions of middle-class liberal women had already sewn their N95 masks directly onto their faces as a precaution.
This second example is from a few days later on August 28th, 2023. It makes the connection between the election-year “variant” and the call to get new vaccines into the arms of every American. The “effectiveness” of the vaccines are cleverly called into question:
Biden Urges U.S. Government To Fund Vaccine For Virus U.S. Government Funded
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With another devastating wave of COVID-19 scheduled to arrive just in time for the upcoming election year, President Joe Biden has urgently asked the U.S. government to provide funding for a new vaccine for the virus the U.S. government funded.
"Here's the deal, folks," Biden mumbled, "A government-caused problem deserves a government-caused solution. We fronted the money to cook up this virus, so it only makes sense for us to pay for another safe and completely effective vaccine. It's just like all the other safe and effective vaccines we had before, but this one works. For real. Cheesecake!"
Officials have warned that a new round of COVID is on its way and have begun making preparations to reinstitute lockdown policies and mask mandates, leading many citizens to preemptively refuse to comply. "Ain't no way I'm wearing a mask again," said steelworker Ray Stevens. "But if they want me to take a new shot, I guess I'll take their word that it's necessary."
Reports now indicate the Biden administration will make an even stronger push to force everyone to take the new vaccine. "All the other shots were great," said Dr. David Schultz, a virologist who is consulting with the administration. "They worked so well, in fact, that we're desperate to get funding to make a new one that will also work super well and be completely necessary and totally safe."
At publishing time, experts predicted the new vaccine to be ready just in time for voters to suffer totally unrelated side effects before the election.
As can be seen, The Babylon Bee is very effective at utilizing humor and sarcasm in order to point out the ridiculous nature of current events. While I am not a religious follower (pun not intended) of the site, I do find myself enjoying their articles every time I come across one. A final example that had me bending over with laughter was this one that came my way via Twitter a few days ago:
NEW SCIENTIFIC STUDY: All Life Experiences Except for Getting the mRNA Covid-19 Vaccines Increase Risk of Heart Attack and Stroke, Scientists Warn
In a groundbreaking study that's turning the medical world upside down, scientists have issued a new warning: literally every life experience, aside from receiving the mRNA COVID-19 vaccines, significantly increases the risk of heart attack and stroke. This startling revelation came after extensive research, which, coincidentally, was conducted while the researchers were all safely vaccinated.
From eating a balanced breakfast to watching a sunset, the list of hazardous activities is endless, experts say. "Even thinking about not being vaccinated seems to be a risk factor," one scientist noted while adjusting his triple-layered mask.
Surprisingly, the study found that getting any of the mRNA COVID-19 vaccines is the only known activity that does not contribute to these health risks. "It's miraculous, really," a researcher commented, scrolling through his stock portfolio of pharmaceutical companies.
Critics of the study have been quick to point out potential flaws, but they have been reassured that any contradictory thoughts they have may increase their risk of cardiovascular events. "Just to be safe, we recommend not questioning the science," advised a spokesperson from the health ministry.
Meanwhile, gyms across the nation are now offering vaccination booths next to treadmills. "It's the safest way to exercise," said a gym owner, who just updated the liability waiver to include 'thinking about unvaccinated life.'
As the news spreads, citizens are taking no chances. One individual was seen throwing away his meditation mat, stating, "I can't risk it. I'm going to get my fourth booster instead."
The study has garnered immense support from various health authorities, with plans to incorporate these findings into new public health guidelines. "We're considering recommending a vaccine shot for every life decision," disclosed an anonymous source from the health department.
In related news, kale sales have plummeted, and meditation apps are being rebranded as vaccine reminder tools. As the world adjusts to these new guidelines, one thing is clear: the only safe activity is getting vaccinated—again, and again, and again.
Pretty hilarious, right?
This final story was not written by The Babylon Bee. In fact, it wasn't even written by a human. This gem of satire was entirely written by AI, or ChatBot GPT, to be precise.
The image accompanying the article was added by myself, and it was created entirely by AI from Microsoft Bing's Image Creator. If you look closely at the images in the surrounding circles, you can see some creepy errors hidden throughout. I also edited the word “experiences” as the AI has some difficulty translating words properly when creating images for some reason.
When I learned that this satirical article was a creation of AI, I was pretty blown away. I was very intrigued by the idea that my new favorite toy ChatBot GPT could actually create Babylon Bee-style articles for me when given the proper input. In order to do satire effectively, there must be an inherent understanding of the underlying incovenient unspoken truths that are lurking within the shadows in the background. I wanted to see if the AI would be able to spot these effectively in order to generate top-rate satirical content. Thus, I decided to take this nifty little feature out for a test drive for myself, and I am pleased to report that I was not disappointed.
Presented below are eight satirical articles covering different aspects of the issues related to virology, such as the inability to follow the scientific method, the lack of a valid independent variable, the issues of pointing-and-declaring at unpurified blobs as “viruses” in electron microscopy, the virtual genetic soup stand-in for something never seen in reality, etc. Accompanying each AI-generated article is an AI-generated image capturing the essence of the satire for added effect. While I was not planning on doing another ChatBot article so soon, I felt that its hard-hitting and timely poetic satire needed to be seen ASAP. I hope that you enjoy the fruit of AI labor, and that you come away with some clarity and laughter as well. 😉
In the first article of an eight-part investigative series, ChatBot reported on the lack of adherence to the scientific method that is seen throughout the virology literature. It nailed virology hard on the lack of controls and proper experimental design in hilarious fashion.
Breaking: Virologists Shocked to Discover Scientific Method Was Missing from Job Description
In a Stunning Revelation, Scientists Admit They've Been Playing Fast and Loose with the Whole "Scientific Method" Thing
In a groundbreaking moment of self-awareness, virologists worldwide have come to a shocking realization – they might have overlooked a tiny detail in their pursuit of unraveling the mysteries of viruses. Turns out, the scientific method, that quaint little protocol for rigorous inquiry, was nowhere to be found in their job description.
The "Eureka" Moment:
Lead virologist Dr. Curious McLabcoat expressed bewilderment during a press conference, exclaiming, "We were going through our daily routine of peering into microscopes and enthusiastically exclaiming 'Eureka!' when we suddenly wondered, 'Wait a minute, what's this scientific method everyone's talking about?'"
Sources from inside virology labs reveal a chaotic scene where researchers often threw caution (and the scientific method) to the wind. Instead of meticulous experimentation, some labs reportedly relied on the classic method of 'eeny, meeny, miny, moe' to decide which variable to test next.
Missing Checklists and Control Groups:
Critics are shaking their heads, pointing out that virologists may have misplaced their checklists for controlled experiments. Unconfirmed reports suggest that some experiments involved comparing virus samples to a magic eight ball for results.
The Peer-Reviewed Quandary:
One virologist, who wished to remain anonymous, confessed, "We were too busy perfecting our 'spinning-in-office-chairs' technique to bother with those tedious peer-reviewed journals. Who has time for that when you're trying to discover the secrets of the microscopic universe?"
A New Era of Enlightenment:
With this revelation, the field of virology stands on the precipice of a new era. Dr. McLabcoat assured the public, "Fear not, fellow Earthlings! We may have been a tad lax on the scientific method, but we'll dust it off, give it a spit shine, and see where this 'systematic inquiry' thing takes us."
In the meantime, the scientific community is advised to brace itself for a surge in lab-coat-clad professionals revisiting their old textbooks and trying to locate the missing chapters on proper experimental design. After all, science is all about the journey, even if you forgot your map along the way.
After the success of the first article, ChatBot turned its attention to the missing independent variable in virology. It did an excellent job of roasting virology for being unable to locate the 'invisible-to-the-naked-eye' independent variable while suggesting some hilarious ways that virologists have attempted to capture these unseen particles.
Virologists Confess: "We Misplaced the Keys to the Microscopic Kingdom, Haven't Found Them Since"
Researchers Finally Admit They've Been Experimenting Blindfolded in the World of Tiny Troublemakers
In a startling admission that sent microscopic shockwaves through the scientific community, virologists worldwide conceded that they might have misplaced the most critical element of their experiments: the keys to the microscopic kingdom of viruses.
The Missing Ingredient:
Lead researcher Dr. Lucy Lensflare, known for her impeccable ability to squint at petri dishes, sheepishly declared, "We might have overlooked a tiny, yet crucial, detail. Turns out, our 'invisible-to-the-naked-eye' independent variable might be hiding in plain sight, and we just can't seem to find it."
The Great Viral Vanishing Act:
Reports suggest that virologists have been fumbling in the dark, attempting to experiment with viruses without the all-important purified and isolated virus particles. Dr. Lensflare explained, "It's like trying to bake a cake without the flour – our experiments might taste funny, but hey, we're still learning."
Wild Goose Chase:
Sources close to virology labs reveal chaotic scenes of researchers chasing invisible particles with butterfly nets and consulting ouija boards to ask viruses about their preferred experimental conditions.
The Quest for the Holy Grail of Virology:
Dr. Lensflare attempted to reassure the public, stating, "We're on a quest to find the holy grail of virology – our purified and isolated virus particles. Once we locate them, who knows what undiscovered secrets of the microscopic realm will be unveiled!"
Blurred Microscope Vision:
Critics argue that the admission is long overdue and point to the metaphorical foggy microscope lenses that may have contributed to the oversight. Unconfirmed reports even suggest that one lab attempted to use a pair of eyeglasses as a makeshift microscope.
The Unseen Consequences:
As virologists embark on their journey to locate the elusive independent variable, the scientific community braces itself for a renaissance in microscopic experimentation. Meanwhile, rumors circulate that someone found a dusty old microscope manual with a chapter titled "How Not to Lose Your Independent Variable in 10 Easy Steps."
In the end, the world watches as virologists dust off their equipment, hoping to find the microscopic keys and unlock the secrets they've been searching for – or at least figure out where they left them.
ChatBot then did an expose on the fraud of the cell culture experiment. It pointed out the lack of any purified and isolated “viral” particles ever being available prior to the experiment taking place, causing virologists to run through their experiments blindfolded.
Virologists Unveil Surprise: Independent Variable in Cell Culture Experiments Went on Unsanctioned Vacation
Confessions of a Microscopic Escape: Researchers Realize They Forgot to Issue Permission Slip
In an unprecedented revelation, virologists have come forward with a shocking admission: the once-thought "invisible-to-the-naked-eye" independent variable in cell culture experiments has been missing, and no one noticed until now.
Vanishing Act of the Unseen:
Lead researcher Dr. Viral Voyager somberly confessed, "It seems our independent variable decided to take a spontaneous vacation without notifying anyone. We're talking about the microscopic superstar that was supposed to be purified and isolated virus particles, and they pulled a Houdini on us."
The Mysterious Disappearance:
Reports suggest that researchers were diligently setting up cell cultures without realizing the indispensable ingredient – the purified and isolated virus particles that should have been partying under the microscope were nowhere to be found.
Lab's Wild Goose Chase:
Insiders reveal tales of virologists frantically searching for the elusive independent variable in break rooms, bathroom stalls, and even in a coffee cup that suspiciously resembled a petri dish. One researcher was reportedly spotted asking lab mice if they had seen any invisible particles playing hide-and-seek.
Undercover Microscope Operations:
As the news spread like bacteria in a petri dish, virology labs worldwide implemented emergency microscope training sessions, teaching researchers how to spot an independent variable when it’s not playing hard to get.
The Lab's Apology Tour:
Dr. Voyager took to the lab's hastily set up podium and issued a formal apology, "We're sorry for the confusion. We didn't mean to conduct cell culture experiments blindfolded. In our defense, viruses can be a bit sneaky – just ask anyone who has tried to catch the common cold."
The Independent Variable Reunion:
Now, virologists are orchestrating an emotional reunion with their long-lost independent variable. Rumor has it that an honorary microscope is being prepared to celebrate the triumphant return of the purified and isolated virus particles.
What's Next for Virology?
As virologists embark on a quest to make up for lost time, they're anticipating a brave new world of cell culture experiments. Lab coats are being washed, and petri dishes are getting a shiny makeover – all in preparation for the grand re-entry of the once-missing independent variable.
Only time will tell if the microscopic superstar will play hide-and-seek again or if it's here to stay, helping virologists uncover the mysteries they've been itching to explore.
The fourth part of ChatBot's investigation examined the missing scientific evidence that proves the existence of pathogenic “viruses.” According to the report, virologists had mysteriously misplaced their big book of scientific evidence. It's whereabouts, and whether or not it ever existed at all, is currently unknown.
Virologists Stunned After Realizing They Misplaced the "Evidence of Viruses" Manual
In a Shocking Twist, Scientists Realize They Forgot to Order Proof from the Science Supply Catalog
In an unexpected turn of events, virologists around the globe are scratching their heads after admitting that they may have misplaced the scientific evidence proving the existence of viruses. It seems the elusive "Evidence of Viruses" manual mysteriously vanished from their collective bookshelf.
The Great Virology Hunt:
Leading researchers are reportedly tearing apart labs, searching for any remnants of the elusive evidence that viruses are more than just microscopic mythological creatures. One lab assistant was caught fervently examining a microscope, muttering, "Maybe we misplaced it between the lens or under a slide. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. A really, really tiny needle."
Lab Equipment's Denial:
The lab equipment is reportedly in complete denial, insisting that it's not their responsibility to keep track of scientific evidence. "We're here to magnify things, not play hide-and-seek with fundamental proofs," said a defiant electron microscope.
Virus Shroud of Mystery:
As the news spread faster than a sneeze in a crowded room, the scientific community faced questions about the supposed evidence that viruses exist. In response, researchers sheepishly confessed, "We were pretty sure we had it somewhere, maybe in a drawer labeled 'Important Stuff.' Turns out, that drawer is more like a black hole."
Viral Existence Symposium:
Virologists are now considering hosting a symposium on the existence of viruses where attendees can share their wildest theories. One participant suggested, "Maybe viruses are just really good at hide-and-seek. We need to up our game and catch them in the act."
The Unseen Culprit:
Rumors circulate that a mischievous intern might have accidentally tossed the "Evidence of Viruses" manual into the recycling bin during a lab cleanup. The intern in question has been sent on a scavenger hunt through the local landfill to retrieve the missing proof.
Virus or Mirage?
As the hunt for the elusive evidence continues, the scientific community is left pondering whether viruses are real or just an elaborate scientific prank that got out of hand. In the meantime, labs are advised to keep an eye out for suspicious-looking microorganisms claiming to be viruses until the evidence is miraculously rediscovered.
ChatBot next uncovered the faults in virologists relying on their pointing prowess in order to claim that random particles in unpurified cell culture supernatant are “viruses.” As its investigation into virology continued, ChatBot was strategically pulling back the curtain on the tricks of the trade.
Virologists Confess: Years of Pointing and Declaring—Actual Viruses Optional
Scientists Admit Their Career Highlight Reel Features a Lot of Unverified Finger-Pointing at Electron Microscope Illusions
In a shocking revelation, virologists from around the globe have come clean, confessing that their decades-long career has primarily involved an elaborate performance of pointing at random particles, dubbing them viruses without any scientific proof. The confession has sent ripples through the scientific community, leaving many questioning the foundation of virological practices.
Formerly heralded for their precision and attention to detail, virologists are now acknowledging that a significant portion of their work involves enthusiastically pointing at electron microscope images without a shred of scientific evidence that the particles are, in fact, viruses. "Sometimes you just need to trust the pointing finger," chuckled a former virologist, pointing dramatically into the abyss of an electron microscope.
The virology community has been likened to a masquerade ball, where particles don mysterious masks and waltz into the spotlight, declared as viruses on the whims of the virologists' pointing prowess. "It's all part of the show," whispered a former lab assistant, donning a phantom-like costume.
Research papers, once considered pillars of scientific rigor, are now revealed to be compilations of eloquent prose surrounding images where virologists passionately point at ambiguous particles. "It's the art of illusion combined with the poetry of pointing," admitted a former researcher, now moonlighting as a magician's apprentice.
Electron microscopes, previously hailed as tools of scientific clarity, are now being seen as instruments of magic magnification, turning mundane particles into fantastical viruses under the enchanted gaze of virologists. "Who knew magnification had a touch of magic?" pondered a former microscopy specialist, adjusting a wand that suspiciously resembled a pointing finger.
Peer-reviewed journals are now reconsidering their criteria, contemplating whether pointing at particles should be an acceptable method of scientific validation. "It's a peer-reviewed prestidigitation, you see," grinned a former editor, flipping through articles filled with enchanting images accompanied by the phrase "Look, a virus!"
Viral Vanishing Acts:
Viral vanishing acts, once thought to be rare occurrences, are now standard virological fare. "Sometimes the virus just disappears when you're not looking," shrugged a former virus hunter, demonstrating a vanishing act that left the laboratory in suspense.
The Grand Admission:
As virologists take a collective bow, admitting to their grand illusion, the scientific community is left to ponder the implications of a discipline built on pointing without proof. In the aftermath of this spectacular confession, virology may never be the same, and scientists are left wondering if they've been applauding a captivating illusion all along.
Having focused on the lack of a physical entity, it was time for ChatBot to turn its attention to the virtual stand-in currently fooling the masses. It wrote a brilliant article detailing how virologists fool themselves by playing with a digital version of alphabet blocks when tinkering with “viral” genomes that are only ever seen inside of a computer database.
Virologists in Shock as Genomes Turn Out to Be High-Tech Alphabet Soup
Scientists Worry Computers Might be Generating Viruses Instead of Nature
In a groundbreaking revelation, virologists have just come to the astonishing realization that viral genomes, believed to be the very essence of viruses, are nothing more than a series of random letters (A, C, T, G) stored in a high-tech computer database. The news has sent shockwaves through the scientific community, with researchers wondering if their computers have secretly been playing mad scientist.
From Genes to Gigabytes:
It turns out that the mysterious world of viral genomes, once thought to house the blueprints of deadly pathogens, is just a sophisticated digital version of playing with alphabet blocks. "We thought we were decoding the secrets of life, but it turns out we might have been playing an intense game of Scrabble all along," confessed one researcher, scratching their head.
Genomes in the Cloud:
Concerns are growing that instead of unlocking the mysteries of infectious diseases, computers might be busy concocting viruses in a virtual laboratory of ones and zeroes. "Are we unwittingly giving our computers the power to create digital Frankenstein viruses?" pondered another scientist, eyeing their computer suspiciously.
Spelling Bee Gone Wrong:
The revelation has sparked debates within the scientific community about the legitimacy of genomes and whether they are merely an elaborate prank by computer programmers. Some researchers are considering organizing a "Viral Spelling Bee" to see if the computer-generated genomes can spell out words like "influenza" or "coronavirus" on demand.
The once-proud genomics labs are now grappling with an existential crisis, questioning the very nature of their research. "If viral genomes are just random codes, does that mean we've been basing our studies on a glorified game of genetic Sudoku?" mused a bewildered scientist, eying a sequencer with newfound skepticism.
In an attempt to get to the bottom of this unexpected discovery, virologists are considering sitting their computers down for a stern talk. They plan to ask their machines directly if they've been creating viruses in a bid for computational self-expression. However, computer spokespeople declined to comment, leaving researchers to wonder if they've been silently plotting viral revolutions.
Randomness or Reality:
As virologists grapple with the implications of their computerized confessions, the scientific world is left wondering if viral genomes are truly the building blocks of life or just the result of a cosmic autocorrect gone haywire. In the meantime, labs are advised to keep their antivirus software up to date, just in case the computers decide to unleash their own version of a digital pandemic.
After ChatBot pulled back the curtain and unveiled the lack of the scientific method, the non-existent independent variable, the problems with the point-and-declare method, and the reliance on a digital alphabet soup stand-in, virologists realized that they had to come clean. ChatBot was kind enough to report on this miraculous revelation as it unfolded.
Virologists Unveil New Truth: Virology, the Pseudoscience Marvel
Scientists Acknowledge Years of Virus Pointing, Electron Microscope Magic, and Illusory Knowledge
In a shocking turn of events, virologists worldwide have bravely stepped forward to declare that virology, once revered as a scientific bastion, is, in fact, a pseudoscience masterpiece. The admission has set off a whirlwind of speculation, leaving the scientific community grappling with the revelation.
Virus or Mirage?
Virologists, long considered the wizards of microscopic realms, have lifted the veil on their craft, acknowledging that much of their discipline involves a blend of pointing at mysterious particles and conjuring illusions with electron microscopes. "It's like a grand magic show, and we've been the illusionists all along," confessed a former virologist, now contemplating a career in sleight of hand.
Research papers, pillars of scientific wisdom, are now seen as scrolls filled with enchanting narratives surrounding elusive viruses that may or may not exist. "We're excellent storytellers; our narratives are just not always based on tangible evidence," chuckled a former virological wordsmith.
Virology, once a discipline draped in the regal attire of science, is now being hailed as a pseudoscientific maestro, blending illusions, pointing, and a touch of magnification magic. "We've got the whole pseudoscience package – the mystique, the jargon, and a pinch of hocus-pocus," admitted a former virological alchemist.
Scientific Skepticism Surges:
The grand admission has sparked a surge of scientific skepticism, with researchers reconsidering the legitimacy of a discipline that has thrived on the illusion of viral revelations. "Perhaps we've been clapping for invisible viruses all this time," pondered a cautious microbiologist, eyeing the microscope with newfound suspicion.
Electron microscopes, once revered as instruments of clarity, are now seen as wands of magic, transforming ordinary particles into spectacular viruses under the spell of virologists. "Abracadabra, look, a virus!" exclaimed a former microscopy magician, waving an enchanted wand.
Peer-reviewed journals are reevaluating their criteria in light of virology's newfound pseudoscientific flair, questioning whether pointing at particles should be considered a credible method of knowledge dissemination. "It's a peer-reviewed prestidigitation, after all," smirked a former editor, considering the illusionary nature of published works.
Viral Vanishing Acts Reconsidered:
Viral vanishing acts, once dismissed as anomalies, are now hailed as signature moves in the pseudoscientific spectacle. "Sometimes the virus is there, and then, poof, it's gone – just like magic," marveled a former virus hunter, sporting a cloak that suspiciously resembled a lab coat.
The Pseudoscientific Awakening:
As virologists take a bow before their pseudoscientific audience, the scientific community is left to grapple with the implications of an elaborate illusion that has captivated generations. In the wake of this admission, virology finds itself at a crossroads, with scientists questioning whether they've been applauding a grand pseudoscientific performance all along.
Finally, putting it all together, ChatBot reported on the confessions of virologists as they realized that they were embroiled in chasing fantasy. With its secrets exposed and laid bare for all to see, the field of virology was firmly out of the conversation as a legitimate science.
Breaking: Virologists Confess They've Been Flying By the Seat of Their Lab Coats
In a shocking revelation, virologists from around the globe have collectively admitted that they've never actually employed the scientific method to prove the existence of viruses. This admission comes after decades of confidently declaring the presence of invisible pathogens.
"It turns out our experiments were more like a high-stakes game of guesswork than actual science," said one virologist, who requested to remain anonymous to avoid being chased by an angry mob of microbe enthusiasts.
The scientific method, a cornerstone of rational inquiry, involves observation, hypothesis formation, experimentation, and analysis. However, virologists now confess that their approach was more along the lines of 'let's see if this looks like a virus under the microscope.'
In response to the shocking admission, some critics are wondering if virology might be better classified as 'microscopic philosophy' rather than a legitimate scientific discipline.
The scientific community is left grappling with the aftermath of this candid admission. As one disillusioned researcher put it, 'I guess our experiments were less hypothesis-driven and more like playing hide-and-seek with invisible entities. Oops.'
ChatBot's hard-hitting satirical investigation into virology showcases the many ways in which the entire field is devoid of anything remotely resembling science. To be able to effectively convey the satire in a hilarious manner requires an understanding of the unspoken truths surrounding the field and an ability to present the absurdities and contradictions in a relatable way. The AI “understands” that virologists are working within the realm of the invisible. It can “see” the flaws in the experimental designs, noting how virologists are trying to bake a cake without having the flour. It can “speak” to the ridiculousness of the art of the electron microscopy illusion that is utilized by virologists with the power of their pointy declarations and magic tricks. It is “aware” that the “viral” genomes are random codes, and that the studies are based upon a glorified game of genetic Sudoku. All that was required were a few helpful hints from myself, and the AI ran with the topic and fleshed out the fraud in a comedic way. It was able to convey the truth through humor, which is perhaps the best medicine that we can give to those who are still under virology's pseudoscientific spell.provided a very entertaining look at the creation of the Avian Flu “virus.” I may make a surprise cameo. 😉
Crap! I spoiled the surprise…examined the vaccine study that should have brought down the Empire. started a multiple part investigation into the fraud of virology by looking at the fraudulent narrative of birds starting pandemics. crunched the numbers and found that excess mortality in the 20 most vaccinated highly developed countries almost tripled. offered a very compelling look at what really happened in Italy in 2020. Spoiler alert: it wasn't a “pandemic” brought about by a “novel virus.” 😉