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Agent131711's avatar

Finally read this. Outstanding work. Giggled like a schoolgirl at the sheer lunacy of it all. I like how you explain the difficulties in researching something nobody can SEE. We have more proof of ghosts than antibodies.

Let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly:

It all starts with a bat, f*cking bats, its always the bats* (*except for when it's a pig, badger or narwhal). The bat laughs as it brews a new type of virus inside of it. When the time is right, the virus leaps out of the critters mouth, directly onto a door handle.

I come along to grab the spouse a case of White Claw and open the cooler door. Little do I know, the stealthy virus jumped onto my finger the moment I touched the handle. Now it waits. Like a child predator it grooms my finger. It knows it is only a matter of time before I lick chicken wing sauce off my greasy hand and when I do, it's ready to come careening down my throat, boom! Right into my lungs, where it will start replicating, quite quickly. ...but...

Little does the virus know, my immune system has been doing sit-ups and pumping iron, all along my immunies have been listening to Eye of the Tiger and training for this day. They have never been as ready as they are now.

When the virus comes in, my immunes raise their little invisible swords, "THIS IS SPARTA!", they scream, as they charge toward the virus.

Sadly, all hope is lost. The bat-brewed-door-handle virus was a Level 10 boss, just too strong. It overtook my immune system, now I have a fever and a cough for a f*cking week...but...

IF I was a wiser person, I would have gotten a vaccine shot into my arm because that would have given me antibodies. Those antibodies would have traveled through my arm, into my lungs, where they would have sat and waited, and waited and waited. They would have waited the entire flu season if need be, just sitting there, next to my pneumonia vaccine antibodies, my shingle vaccine antibodies and my two Covid booster shot antibodies. They're all just hanging out, in the corner of my lung, eating bagel bites while watching CNN and waiting. Then, when the moment arrives, the antibodies and the immunies see the virus coming down my throat and they begin to move their troops. Before you know it, the antibodies and my immune system are engaged in battle with the bat-virus I licked off my finger.

When the bloody war is over and the dust settles, IF I end up getting sick, I shoulda got the jab. IF i did get the jab and get sick, this is obvious a different virus, perhaps a mutation, maybe it tranformed like Optimus Prime or maybe I just need another booster? - am I missing anything here?

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Asa Boxer's avatar

One would expect that if the hypotheses were true, and if one couldn't isolate, but only produce antibodies (especially monoclonal ones), then one should be able to bind them to their respective viruses. Since apparently it's insulting (as Dr. Fleming put it) of us to suppose that viruses are not isolated routinely, then one should be able to use these isolated viruses to attract their respective antibodies. It is dumbfounding once we start looking over their shoulders to realise that there truly are no dependent or independent variables and no controls. It's all about confirming the hypothesis by digging around till you find a way of cooking up a confirmation. All very clever indeed. Unfortunately, this is going on in other areas of science, like quantum physics. All they need is a one-off "energy signature" from the BS magnets at Cern and voila!--Nobel Prize for the God Particle. We're living in interesting times. The particle cult will go down as one of the funnier night terrors in the history of ideas.

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